Self-esteem and Self-confidence are two words that often come up when discussing how we feel about ourselves. While they are closely related, they are not the same. Self-esteem reflects how much we value and accept ourselves, while self-confidence reflects how strongly we believe in our abilities to achieve goals and handle challenges. While one is pretty constant, and the other varies situationally, they both influence each other.
In this blog, we’ll explore the psychology of self-confidence and self-esteem, how they develop, impact our lives, and what we can do to strengthen them throughout life. Understanding both can give us a more complete picture of psychological well-being.
What Are Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem in Psychology?
The American Psychological Association makes a clear distinction between the two:
Self-Esteem: The degree to which the qualities and characteristics contained in one’s self-concept are perceived to be positive. It reflects a person’s physical self-image, view of their accomplishments and capabilities, and values and perceived success in living up to them, as well as the ways in which others view and respond to that person. The more positive the cumulative perception of these qualities and characteristics, the higher one’s self-esteem.
Self-Confidence: self-assurance: trust in one’s abilities, capacities, and judgment.
How Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem Develop Over Time
Both self-esteem and self-confidence are shaped by life experiences:
Childhood: Parenting style, attachment security, early success/failure, and beliefs about success/failure shape how children view both their worth (self-esteem) and their abilities (self-confidence). Supportive encouragement builds both, while harsh criticism can undermine them.
Adolescence: Peer relationships and social comparison strongly influence self-esteem (how we feel about ourselves relative to others) and self-confidence (belief in academic, athletic, or social skills). Identity formation often links the two.
Adulthood: Career achievements, relationships, and life challenges continue to shape both. Importantly, research in neuroplasticity shows that both self-confidence and self-esteem can be developed at any age with intentional practice.
The Science Behind Confidence and Self-Esteem
Cognitive Factors: A growth mindset (belief that we can improve with effort) enhances confidence in abilities and supports healthy self-esteem. A fixed mindset undermines both.
Behavioral Science: Self-confidence and self-esteem grow through action. The confidence gained from achievement or improvement also boosts self-esteem
Recent Studies: Neuroimaging shows self-affirmation activates brain systems associated with self-related processing and reward, and is reinforced by future orientation. This demonstrates why affirmations work!
Common Myths About Confidence and Self-Esteem (Debunked)
“You’re either born with confidence/self-esteem or you’re not.”
This is false. Both are learned and can be developed.“Confidence means never feeling fear, and self-esteem means always feeling good about yourself.”
In reality, confidence is acting despite fear, and self-esteem allows for self-acceptance even when you fail.“Fake it until you make it.”
While practicing confident behaviors helps, deep growth in both confidence and esteem requires authentic inner work, not just appearances.
How to Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem
Gradual exposure to challenges- builds task-specific confidence and reinforces esteem through achievement.
Set and achieve small, achievable goals- Success strengthens the “I can” belief and self-worth.
Reframe negative self-talk- challenge both “I can’t” (Self-confidence) and “I’m not good enough” (Self-esteem).
Affirmations- repeated positive self-talk is proven to transform thought patterns and improve self-esteem
Practice self-compassion - builds self-esteem by reducing harsh self-criticism and promotes confidence by allowing mistakes as part of learning.
Therapy often combines these approaches, showing how building confidence is closely tied to strengthening self-esteem and how both have an impact on overall mental health.
When to Seek Professional Help
Sometimes, low self-confidence and low self-esteem have a large impact on quality of life or are symptoms of deeper challenges such as anxiety, depression, trauma, or social struggles. These issues can make it hard to break the cycle of self-doubt. Therapy provides a safe space to address past experiences, challenge limiting beliefs, and practice new ways of thinking. With professional guidance, people often find that both their confidence and self-esteem rise together. If self-confidence or high self-esteem feels out of reach, counseling can help you reframe your self-perception and create lasting change.
If you’d like support in building both, Heritage Counseling offers individualized care tailored to your unique needs. Call us at 214-363-2345 to schedule a session and take the first step toward lasting growth.