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Congratulations on embarking on this exciting journey of marriage! As you navigate the joys and challenges of building a life together, it's important to recognize the value of seeking support and guidance along the way. Marriage counseling for newlyweds offers a proactive and empowering approach to strengthening your bond and fostering a fulfilling partnership. 
 Adjusting to married life is a significant transition that often involves a period of adaptation and growth for newlyweds. As couples navigate the complexities of merging their lives together, they may encounter both joys and challenges along the way. From learning to share space and responsibilities to navigating differences in communication styles and expectations, adjusting to married life requires patience, flexibility, and open communication. Couples may need to negotiate new routines, establish shared goals, and find a balance between independence and interdependence. **** 
 The process of adjusting to married life provides couples with an opportunity to deepen their bond, strengthen their connection, and cultivate a strong foundation for their future together (Khodaparast et al., 2022). An important aspect of counseling for couples is th emphasis on being a team and seeing the situation as a whole instead of as individuals. By approaching this transition with a spirit of teamwork, mutual respect, and commitment, couples can embark on a journey of growth, love, and partnership that lasts a lifetime. 

 Benefits of Premarital Counseling Premarital counseling provides a safe and supportive space for couples to explore and deepen their relationship before tying the knot. Through guided discussions and exercises, couples can explore important topics such as communication, conflict resolution, financial management, and shared goals. By addressing these areas proactively, couples can gain a deeper understanding of each other's needs, expectations, and values (Parhizgar et al., 2017).  
 Moreover, premarital counseling offers a safe space for couples to identify and address any potential areas of concern or disagreement before they become significant sources of conflict. By investing in premarital counseling, couples can equip themselves with the tools and strategies necessary to navigate the ups and downs of married life with greater confidence and resilience. Premarital counseling can be a powerful space to gain tools and understanding to use later on in the marriage as they face communication challenges or struggles in connection. 
 Some benefits of premarital counseling can include: Building effective communication skills Clarifying expectations and values Addressing potential areas of conflict Strengthening intimacy and connection Developing strategies for resolving disagreements constructively 

 

 Common Issues Newlyweds Might Face Transitioning into married life can bring about various challenges as you adjust to sharing your lives together. The transition from dating to married life can sometimes lead to feelings of uncertainty or anxiety. However, by approaching these challenges with openness, patience, and a willingness to communicate, couples can strengthen their bond and emerge from this transitional period with a deeper understanding of each other (Vogel, 2002). Common issues newlyweds might face can include: Adjusting to roles and responsibilities Managing finances and household tasks Navigating differences in upbringing and background Balancing time spent with family and friends Addressing expectations around intimacy and romance 
 
 Family Dynamics for Newlyweds Family dynamics, especially during holidays and special occasions, can add another layer of complexity to your relationship. As couples merge their families and traditions, they may encounter differences in customs, expectations, and communication styles. Navigating these dynamics requires clear and respectful communication, as well as a commitment to establishing healthy boundaries. Couples may also need to balance the demands of spending time with their own families while creating new traditions as a couple. By prioritizing open dialogue, compromise, and mutual respect, couples can navigate family dynamics with grace and strengthen their relationship in the process. ** 

 Benefits of Counseling Marriage counseling offers a supportive and nonjudgmental environment where you can explore challenges, deepen your connection, and learn valuable skills to strengthen your relationship. Through individual and joint sessions, couples can gain valuable insights into their communication patterns, emotional triggers, and areas of growth. Counseling provides a safe space for couples to express their feelings, identify underlying issues, and work towards mutually satisfying solutions. Additionally, counselors can offer personalized guidance and support tailored to the unique needs and goals of each couple. Ultimately, marriage counseling empowers couples to deepen their connection, resolve conflicts constructively, and cultivate a relationship that thrives. ***
 Benefits of marriage counseling can include: Gaining insight into patterns of communication and behavior Learning effective conflict resolution strategies Enhancing emotional intimacy and connection Building resilience and mutual support Strengthening the foundation of your marriage for years to come 




 What to Do If Your Spouse Doesn't Want to Go to Counseling If one partner is hesitant about attending counseling, it's essential to approach the conversation with empathy and understanding. Start by expressing your own feelings and concerns openly, while also acknowledging your partner's perspective. Listen attentively to their reasons for resistance and validate their feelings without judgment. Encourage open dialogue and reassure them that counseling is not about placing blame, but rather about strengthening your bond and finding solutions together.  Consider offering to start with individual therapy or seeking guidance from a trusted third party, such as a mentor. Ultimately, the key is to approach the conversation with compassion, patience, and a shared commitment to the health and happiness of your relationship. 

 Conclusion Remember, seeking marriage counseling as newlyweds does not mean your relationship is in crisis. It's a proactive step towards nurturing a healthy and thriving partnership. At Heritage Counseling, we offer compassionate and evidence-based counseling services tailored to meet your unique needs as a couple.  
 Take the first step towards a stronger and more fulfilling marriage. Contact Heritage Counseling at 214-363-2345 to explore how marriage counseling can benefit you as newlyweds. In this journey of love and partnership, remember that you're not alone. Together, you can overcome challenges and create a marriage that flourishes. 








 Sources: * https://brieflands.com/articles/semj-13182.pdf ** https://psycnet.apa.org/manuscript/2020-49000-001.pdf *** https://stars.library.ucf.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1772&context=etd **** http://stm.e4journal.com/id/eprint/1175/1/mj-43-533.pdf ***** https://www.researchgate.net/profile/David-Vogel/publication/249718898_Demands_and_Withdrawal_in_Newlyweds_Elaborating_on_the_Social_Structure_Hypothesis/links/02e7e539ef17d287dd000000/Demands-and-Withdrawal-in-Newlyweds-Elaborating-on-the-Social-Structure-Hypothesis.pdf 



Marriage Counseling for Newlyweds

Bringing a new life into the world is a momentous occasion, but it also marks the beginning of a challenging journey for many mothers. Acknowledging the prevalence of postpartum depression (PPD) is crucial in ensuring the well-being of both mothers and their infants. This blog aims to shed light on when women should consider seeking therapy for postpartum depression. Recognizing the signs and stages of PPD is the first step toward effective intervention and support. Understanding the nuances of postpartum depression, especially during pregnancy, is vital. We'll explore the signs, symptoms, and the impact on maternal and fetal well-being. 




 Depression During Pregnancy: Identifying the Signs Antenatal or prenatal depression is a form of clinical depression that occurs during pregnancy. While pregnancy is often seen as a time of joy and anticipation, some women may experience significant emotional challenges, and antenatal depression is one such manifestation. Understanding this condition is crucial for early identification and support. Let's explore the key aspects of antenatal depression: 
 Approximately 10-20% of pregnant women experience depression (Pearlstein et al., 2014). It can occur at any point during pregnancy and may persist throughout the gestational period. A few risk factors consist of a history of depression, previous pregnancy loss, lack of social support, relationship issues, financial stress, and hormonal changes. Signs and symptoms to look for during pregnancy consist of: Persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness Changes in sleep patterns Appetite fluctuations Intrusive thoughts or fears Difficulty bonding with the baby 
 Antenatal depression can have repercussions for both the mother and the developing fetus. Maternal stress and depression may be associated with preterm birth, low birth weight, and developmental issues. Additionally, it can affect the mother's ability to care for herself and the unborn child 




 Postpartum Depression: Recognizing the Signs After Birth Postpartum depression (PPD) is a complex and often misunderstood mental health condition that affects some women after giving birth. It is important to recognize that PPD can manifest in various ways, and its impact extends beyond the individual to the well-being of the entire family. In this section, we will provide a comprehensive overview of postpartum depression, shedding light on its prevalence, potential causes, and the emotional challenges that new mothers may face. Navigating through the postpartum period, this section provides insights into the broader context of PPD. Detailing the signs and symptoms that mothers may experience after giving birth, fosters awareness for early detection (O’Hara, 2009).  
 Recognizing the signs and symptoms of postpartum depression (PPD) after childbirth is essential for early intervention and support. While it's normal for new mothers to experience a range of emotions, persistent and overwhelming feelings of sadness, anxiety, or other changes in mood may indicate the presence of PPD. Here are common signs and symptoms to look out for:  Persistent Sadness or Low Mood  Loss of Interst or Pleasure  Changes in sleep pattern  Fatigue and low energy  Feelings of worthlessness or Guilt  Difficulty making decisions  Appetite changes  Physical symptoms  Irritability or agitation  Withdrawal from activities and social interaction  Difficulty bonding with the body  Intrusive thoughts or fears  Physical symptoms without a clear cause  
 It's important to note that experiencing one or more of these symptoms does not necessarily mean a woman has postpartum depression. However, if these symptoms persist for an extended period (typically more than two weeks) and interfere with daily functioning, it's crucial to seek professional help. 




 Signs Indicating the Need for Therapy Recognizing the signs that indicate the need for therapy is crucial for individuals experiencing postpartum depression (PPD). Seeking professional help can be a transformative step toward managing and overcoming PPD (Silverman et al., 2018). Here are signs that may indicate the need for therapy during postpartum depression:  Persistent Feelings of sadness, hopelessness, or anxiety  Difficulty bonding with the baby  Changes in sleep pattern and appetite  Isolation and withdrawal from loved one Intrusive thoughts or fears about harming oneself or the baby 




 Types of Therapy for Postpartum Depression Several therapeutic approaches can be effective in treating postpartum depression (PPD). The choice of therapy depends on the individual's preferences, the severity of symptoms, and the specific challenges they are facing (Perveen et al, 2013). Here are common types of therapy for postpartum depression: Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) : Learn to address negative thought patterns and behaviors Build coping mechanisms for managing stress Interpersonal Therapy (IPT):	 Focus on improving interpersonal relationships Enhance communication and support systems Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): Emphasize mindfulness and emotional regulation Develop skills to navigate intense emotions Psychodynamic Therapy  Gain insight into underlying issues that are contributing to depression  Explore the impact of early life experiences on current emotions  Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) Cultivate awareness of thoughts and emotions  Break the cycle of negative thinking  Group Therapy  Create a supportive community  Share experiences and coping strategies  Neurofeedback Therapy  A non-invasive way of training down mental health such as anxiety and depression  Regulates the nervous system as brain waves are been rewarded Medication Management Medication can help when individuals are not responding to alternative treatment options and can provide immediate relief when needed. 




 Seeking Therapy During Pregnancy Seeking therapy during pregnancy is a proactive and empowering step that can provide valuable support for expectant mothers. Pregnancy is a time of significant physical and emotional changes, and therapy can help individuals navigate the challenges and promote mental well-being (Werner et al., 2016). Seeking therapy during pregnancy is an investment in one’s mental and physical health. Here are the considerations and benefits of seeking therapy during pregnancy: Breaking the stigma around seeking help during pregnancy by acknowledging and addressing mental concerns early enough to implement healthy coping skills  Seeking help early can be beneficial in case of emergency mental health issues as well as having a positive impact on the mother and the baby.  Open communication with healthcare workers provides a safe and welcoming environment where one feels they can be honest and can have medical professionals who are in their corner.  




 Seeking Therapy Postpartum Seeking therapy postpartum is a proactive and valuable step for mothers who may be experiencing the challenges associated with the post-birth period. Postpartum therapy can provide essential support, coping strategies, and a safe space for mothers to navigate the emotional and psychological adjustments that come with motherhood. Society places a massive amount of pressure on new mothers and it can be challenging to know how to handle this and truth be told, one should never have to handle this on their own. As a new mom, it can be difficult to provide ourselves self-compassion when we feel we are giving all we have to the baby, when in fact it is important we show self-compassion to ourselves and in this seek help when needed. Therapy can be a magnificent tool as it can promote a healthy transition to motherhood and provide tools throughout the journey.  




 Conclusion As we embark on this journey together, let's foster a supportive environment that enables mothers to navigate the challenges of postpartum depression with resilience and strength. It is important to pay attention to how we feel looking at our moods such as changes in sadness, appetite fluctuations, Isolation, etc. One’s mental health can be a powerful tool throughout life and when prioritized one will see changes in all various areas of their life. Remember, seeking therapy is a powerful and proactive step towards nurturing both the mind and the precious new life that has entered the world. I want to encourage you to take a leap of faith and call Heritage Counseling at 214-363-2345 for more information about therapy for postpartum depression.  








 Sources:  https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4308451/ 
 https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Michael-Ohara-7/publication/26892699_Postpartum_depression_What_we_know/links/5e85e024a6fdcca789e968d0/Postpartum-depression-What-we-know.pdf https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3918890/?GCLID=null 
 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5462547/ https://ecommons.aku.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1041&context=pakistan_fhs_mc_women_childhealth_obstet_gynaecol 
 

Navigating Postpartum Depression

What is attachment? Attachment is how we view security, comfort, separation, and sharing space with others. Many times it is easy for individuals to feel a certain way in relationships, yet remaining unaware of why one may struggle to connect with some and others they feel comfortable to be themselves. When we are young, we form attachments to those who raise us, if those attachments are insecure, we may see these factors impact the ways in which we develop and grow through how we try to connect with others. Attachment styles develop early in our lives and are shaped by our upbringing.  Although it is shaped by upbringing; this does not mean it can not form attachments that appear more secure. Attachment styles are broken down into four main categories: Anxious attachment, Avoidance attachment, Disorganized attachment, and Secure attachment. Attachment styles impact all relationships, such as professional, romantic, and social, and when an individual can form secure attachments with others, they will see an improvement in their emotional well-being. ******* 



 Anxious Attachment  Characteristics of anxious attachment  Fear of abandonment  Overdependence on a partner  Negative Self-view Feeling unworthy of love  Hypervigilent of threat  Doubt and uncertainty of their partner's investment 
 Anxious attachment can be seen as someone who has a negative or diminished view of themselves, yet will view others in a bright light, continuing to look down on themselves as they lift others up in their eyes. This can be caused by one’s caregiver being present but not fully aware of what the child needs or wants. Anxious attachment can be formed when a caregiver is supportive but not in sync with the child. This may leave the child feeling confused and uncertain in their relationship with their caregiver. 
 Some effective coping strategies that one with anxious attachment can benefit from are proper communication, working to identify emotions and needs, and attending consistent therapy sessions. In this, the individual can calmly and safely express how they are feeling as the partner learns how to be present for them without causing triggers. Adding in an activity called “rituals of attachment”, where the partners agree to make a conscious effort to acknowledge one is leaving but they will return, can form secure healing. Some challenges that could be faced are the partner not fully understanding why their partner is acting the way they are and in this not providing the safe responses needed to ground them and bringing them back to center in the moment. *, ** 




 Avoidant Attachment  Characteristics of avoidant attachment  Fear of intimacy and closeness  Emotional distance  Overly self-sufficient Eager to gain support/Approval
 Avoidant attachment can also be called dismissive or anxious-avoidant attachment. Avoidant attachment is seen to form when one’s caregiver is present but does not provide the proper support one needs. Although the caregiver may wash and feed the child, they will not soothe or nurture them, leading them to divert from situations that may cause them to show emotions or intimacy with others. The child may have never been shown or encouraged to express their emotions and needs. Caregivers have taught these people to fend for themselves which has led them to create a mindset believing that they do not need others or a relationship to feel fulfilled.  When it comes to coping with avoidant attachment one of the most important things to do is regulate one’s emotions. If an individual can self-regulate as well as prepare for possibly triggering situations, they can remain calm and present in the moment instead of diverting and running when they feel triggered or unstable. Coping with the behaviors of avoidant attachment can be an extremely challenging task because one has to ignore and unlearn all of the learned behavior they have known since being a young child. Some of the top ways to rewrite one’s path of avoidant attachment is to, challenge oneself to show emotions when they do not want to as well as allow oneself to trust and depend on others. **	 




 Disorganized Attachment  Characteristics of disorganized attachment  Conflicting emotions and behaviors  Unresolved trauma  Relationships seen as desire and fear  Struggle with Identity  Struggle regulating emotions  Can act irrationally in relationships  Avoidant Behaviors  Disorganized attachment can be seen as one switching from anxious attachment to avoidant attachment. This form of attachment is one that is seen the least but can be formed through childhood trauma or continuous fear. This can form when one has little to no connection with their caregiver, meaning that their caregiver was distant or not around when growing up. This can be seen to develop into possible personality disorders in which the individual does not trust or desire to form relationships with others and lives in a state of panic, distrust, or fear. Disorganized attachment styles are seen to form through neglect and abuse. These are individuals who were forced to raise themselves, although they may feel that disorganized attachment is their identity, this attachment style does not define them and they have to ability to form secure attachments with others through therapy work and breaking down barriers. 
 People with a disorganized attachment style can benefit from dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), which is seen to be most helpful for those who have intense emotions. Emotions can be high for some and catastrophic for others, and one of the best strategies, when one has a disorganized attachment, is to pursue counseling one-on-one to process and work through their childhood as well as understand who they are outside of the attachment style. Some coping strategies that have been seen to be the most effective with this attachment style are identity work, rewriting intrusive thoughts and emotions, and trust exercises where they learn to see and trust others. *** 




 Secure Attachment  Characteristics of secure attachment  Comfort with intimacy and independence  Trust and emotional balance  Base relationships on honesty  Form positive views of themselves  Effective communication  High self-esteem Self-reflecting with others  Open to receiving emotional support Secure attachment is the most sought-after attachment style due to it being one where the individual feels strong and confident not only in themself but in those they choose to form connections with. Those with this attachment style had caregivers who were present, supportive, and nurturing, and provided an environment in which they felt safe. Emotions were welcomed and openly spoken about creating an emotionally secure environment for the individual and the caregiver.  Although one may have a secure attachment it is important for them to nurture this attachment in relationships to remain secure. In order to nurture the attachment it is important to remain aware of one’s emotions and how they are impacting themselves and others. Being open and honest in relationships is key to feeling secure and safe. Although those with secure attachment may feel independent, it is important to not let that independence overrun relationships, meaning it is healthy to allow others in and to ask for help. **** 




 Impact on Relationships  Attachment styles have a massive impact on romantic relationships in the ways in which an individual is willing to trust and feel safe. For example, someone with an anxious attachment style may be hyperaware of their partner's needs, and willing to do anything for them. Someone with Avoidant attachment may flee from emotions in relationships and become attached and physical intimacy may be all they crave due to feeling that emotional connections are unheard of. Those with disorganized attachment may crave love and security but on the same hand will run from it because intimacy and vulnerability can be terrifying and confusing. Partners yearn for their partner to have secure attachment in that, they long for safety, love, and connection. 
 If partners have different attachment styles that conflict, it does not mean they are not meant to be, but that with work, communication, and emotional regulation attachment barriers can be broken. Healthy relationship dynamics are crucial to a strong connection in a relationship and some ways in which these can be improved are, having healthy relationship boundaries, open communication on expectations, as well as building emotional and physical trust. ***** 




 Changing Attachment Styles  It is a common belief that once an attachment style is formed, it can not be changed. However; according to years of research and observation all attachment styles can be changed. This can be done with hard work, consistent counseling, emotional regulation, and the willingness to face one’s past and sit in the discomfort of change. 
 Therapy is one of the most valuable tools when it comes to transforming attachment styles through psychoeducation on each attachment style, to the realization of your own attachment style, to conquering what it may look like to feel and represent secure attachment. Counseling can be a large step but with the right guidance and support, one does not have to live in the attachment style they were shown from a young age.  It is easy for us as humans to look at others' attachment styles; however, one of the greatest challenges is accepting our own attachment style due to having to sit in the discomfort that it was influenced by our caregivers and our upbringing. When one takes a step into self-awareness and personal growth the process of transformation is truly one of the most remarkable experiences. ****** 




 Conclusion Attachment styles have the ability to control our relationships, professional life, and day-to-day activities. Once we are given the tools to recognize and see the attachment style that is running our life in comparison to another form of attachment, individuals are given a gift that allows them to transform their life and take a stand on something that may feel as if it was pre-written for them. 
 Relationships and connection are massively important to the growth of individuals and when individuals are self-aware regarding their willingness or lack of willingness to connect and share with others, changes can be made and healthy relationships can be fostered.  Secure connections provide the gift of allowing one to feel whole and seen. When one takes the steps to sit temporarily in the discomfort as they work toward secure, fulfilling connections they are not allowing transforming their life but the generations to come and the legacy they will leave behind. 
 If you or someone you know is looking for professional help with understanding and improving attachment styles in relationships, please give Heritage Counseling & Consulting a call at 214-363-2345 to get more information and schedule an appointment. 









 
 Sources:  * https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/four-attachment-styles/ **  https://health.clevelandclinic.org/attachment-theory-and-attachment-styles/ *** https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Kenneth-Levy/publication/234138385_Attachment_Style/links/02bfe50f82a274b5e2000000/Attachment-Style.pdf **** http://myweb.sabanciuniv.edu/emreselcuk/files/2019/09/GillathSelcukShaver08.pdf ***** https://www.researchgate.net/publication/232513264_Influence_of_attachment_styles_on_romantic_relationships?enrichId=rgreq-778490ca89eb09ecad654aae8d6d552f-XXX&enrichSource=Y292ZXJQWdlOzIzMjUxMzI2NDtBUzoxOTYwNDcyODEzNjQ5OTJAMTQyMzc1MjcyMjk2Ng%3D%3D&el=1_x_2&_esc=publicationCoverPdf ****** https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Jeffrey-Binder-2/publication/232441313_Changes_in_clients'_attachment_styles_over_the_course_of_time-limited_dynamic_psychotherapy/links/0a85e5336e0e9c0b5f000000/Changes-in-clients-attachment-styles-over-the-course-of-time-limited-dynamic-psychotherapy.pdf ******* https://dictionary.apa.org/attachment-and-biobehavioral-catch-up-intervention 








Understanding the Four Attachment Styles in Relationships

What is Grief?  Grief can be difficult to define because in terms, grief is never the same for any individual, thus it has no one solid definition (Zisook & Shear, 2009). It can be important to not label grief due to us not knowing what an individual may be going through. Some may see grief as being the act of mourning the loss of someone or something, in other ways, some can see it as the act of being forced to let go, sometimes without warning. An individual can grieve for a variety of reasons such as the loss of a loved one, the closing of a relationship, the ending of a career, and even the act of moving whether it be to a new town or a new state.  



 The Grief Cycle  The process of grieving is broken down into five stages: Denial, Anger, Bargainining, Depression, and Acceptance (Weng, 2013). The stages of grief are a common topic but have been seen to be misinterpreted as each stage is not linear, meaning that individuals may experience each stage differently. Some may experience one stage before others and some may not experience a stage as long as others.  
 Denial When experiencing grief, it is easy and comfortable to push away and pretend that it never happened. It is common for one to want to deny the loss or run back to something that is no longer there. Although denial is a prominent stage as one denies events, feelings, thoughts, or emotions, they will be emotionally heightened. Through the stage of denial, one may be looking back on past memories and denying that the individual is gone as they hold onto the memories. Denial can be seen as a form of survival in that the individual may have to continue on with their life such as a mother who lost her husband has to continue taking care of her children and feels she must put a mask on to continue through life, in which the mask is the denial. * 

 Anger  No one wants to experience loss; however, when an individual loses someone or something they may begin to experience strengthened emotions of rage and may be directed toward the question of why, and this why may be pointed at certain individuals as an act of displacement. It is common for anger to be seen as an emotion on the outer layer whereas other emotions of sadness, pain, guilt, and sorrow may be on the inner layer, but the individual is not ready for those emotions to be seen. For some anger may be the easiest emotion to express because individuals may feel that they can not express their true feelings of sadness or fear. Some see anger as a form of strength and in this, they feel they must show the world they are strong even while they are grieving.  ** 
 Bargaining  After losing a loved one it is common for an individual to feel that things are out of control or that they have no real reign on what is happening. Through this stage, the pain seems so real that one may be looking toward “what if” or “if only” statements in order to allow it to make more sense in their mind. In this, it is common for the individual to be at a point where they feel they will do anything or make any sacrifice in order to have the individual's back. This can be seen in various different ways and through different lenses depending on the individual’s culture, religion, and lifestyle. This stage can be seen as false hope to some, in that one is trying to provide themselves light in a dark time. The bargaining stage can be seen to be the most confusing and painful stage as one can feel all emotions through every stage all at once, as they are crying out for helping, feeling lost and alone.  *** 
 Depression This is a stage in which emotions are commonly seen as a grief response. Some research has shown that in a way one experiences this stage in four different ways through each cycle. This may feel like a silent stage where it is common for the individual to feel that they have nothing else to say and desire to experience this stage on their own; however, it is important to seek community and support through this stage as the heaviness of emotions can weigh one down. This a stage where one may feel stuck, in which it can be beneficial to reach out to a mental health professional for guidance and support. * 
 Acceptance  The Acceptance stage has been seen as one that is hard to get a hold of because it can feel as if you are saying it is okay or you are okay with the loss. This stage can be a powerful healing stage if one is given the proper tools and guidance to approach it with. We may never like the new way of life or be okay with never seeing someone again, but it is important for us to accept the loss. In this stage, many will rewrite their story or start over in a sense. They have accepted that the loss is real and the individual may never be back in person but that it is okay to continue on and even to start fresh as one rewrites their story. This has been seen through individuals moving away, completing a task they have always wanted to, writing a book, or maybe going back to school. Acceptance is an immense form of strength as it takes strength to accept the new reality. **** 




 Things to Keep in Mind 	 As much as individuals will experience the different stages of grief, there is no one correct order that the stages are experienced. It is important to remember that the stages are not linear and you will experience them as they come through your grief journey (Walsh & McGolrick, 2013). Some may experience acceptance right at the start of the grieving, in that they feel they must accept in order to complete paperwork and continue on with everyday life for those around them and then revert back to acceptance later on in their grieving journey as the pain has begun to impact them in different ways. We want to normalize the process of someone moving through the stages and experiencing them in different ways than others around them. No one grief journey looks the same as another and that is what makes the grief cycle beautiful because it is yours.  



 How to Help Someone Who is Grieving How we can best support someone who is grieving can be one of the most challenging questions because as humans we want to do enough for them but not too much. It is important to remember that everyone is going to want different forms of support as they grieve. The best thing you can do to help a grieving friend or loved one is to be present and listen. Grief is a long journey and it can be difficult for one to ask for help as they grieve, but if they see you are present and supportive, they will be more inclined to lean on you when the time is right. Society has told individuals that even when in pain from grief they must be strong, for you to provide them with support where they can see that they do not need to be strong is one of the most healing gifts one can give. ***** 




 When to Seek Help Grief is a challenging time but it is important for us as individuals who may experience grief of our own or will support those who are grieving to see that the grief cycle is not linear and that each individual’s grief journey will look different. Some signs that someone may need professional help are signs of anxiety increasing or signs of depression beginning to arise (which is impacting their everyday functioning). If you, a loved one, or a friend is grieving and would benefit from talking to a mental health professional, please call Heritage Counseling at 214-363-2345.  









 Sources:  Walsh, F., and McGolrick, M. Bereavemen: A family life cycle perspective (2013). 4 (1), 20-27. Weng Marc Lim. Journal of Social Sciences. (2013). 9(1) 11-13, doi 10.3844/jsssp.2013.11.13.  Zisook S, Shear K. Grief, and bereavement: what psychiatrists need to know. World Psychiatry. 2009 Jun;8(2):67-74. doi: 10.1002/j.2051-5545.2009.tb00217.x. PMID: 19516922; PMCID: PMC2691160. * https://www.healthline.com/health/stages-of-grief ** https://www.verywellmind.com/five-stages-of-grief-4175361 *** https://www.psycom.net/stages-of-grief **** https://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/ ***** https://cdn.website.thryv.com/ff4b6cd25b8c410f86137e23a82f6325/files/uploaded/Helping%20Teenagers%20Cope%20with%20Grief.pdf 

The Grief Cycle

 Social Media was created as a platform for individuals to safely express themselves; however, as the years have gone on, the standards of social media have changed. Social media can be a powerful tool for creativity, yet it is seen that unrealistic and impossibly perfect images of beauty standards, body shapes, and lifestyles are being posted left and right. Social media presents perfect images of faces and bodies, filtered pictures, and constant editing in order to create a specific image. All of this can lead to a negative body image as one begins to compare themselves and struggle with their own body. Social media has a few negative effects on body image such as comparison, body image disorder, and obsessive exercise. Although social media can be negative, it has positive attributes as well; such as body positivity, support, and learning to build boundaries.* 
 How individuals view themselves and their body image is highly correlated with what they see around them, such as social media posts, magazine covers, movies, etc. Body image is one of the largest issues seen throughout the world today. Individuals are constantly trying to make their bodies look a certain way or trying to fill unrealistic expectations. Body image issues are prominent as social media is presented what one should eat, how they should move their body, and how their clothes should fit. The most common body image issues are concerns with one’s figure, attractiveness, and acquired food. **** Although the idea of body image is grown from a young age, it is an ongoing issue throughout the lifespan.  



 Negative Effects of Social Media Comparison and Competition : Social media has produced an unspoken comparison between individuals through pictures, videos, and edited content. Through this comparison, social media has become a toxic environment as individuals can be left feeling empty and down regarding their bodies and their lifestyles. What is shown on social media is the best and the “perfect” side of one’s life whereas the not-so-beautiful days are rarely shown, producing an idea that one’s image is wrapped up into a perfect bow. A study found that individuals who identified as female and who spent more time on Facebook had poorer body image than those who spent less time on Facebook. ****** Body Image Disorder : Social media causes everyone to overthink and possibly question why they don’t look a certain way or why their body is different. A common body image disorder is body dysmorphia and in this, an individual will continue to see what they believe to see in the mirror when in fact their self-body image is negatively impacted by what they are seeing on social media. Food is shown left and right on various platforms and seeing how much people eat can cause individuals to pull away from their normal lifestyle to fit the mold of the body of the social media “influencers”. 
 Obsessive Exercise : Exercise accounts are seen throughout social media and can be beneficial for individuals who want to begin moving their body but are unsure where to start; however, they can be detrimental as people can begin to obsess over completing a certain exercise to look a certain way. Research shows that exercise is beneficial for one’s health and well-being, yet when taken to an extreme one’s body image can become negatively impacted.  


 Positive Effects of Social Media Body Positivity:  Everyone has a different body and that is what makes us all unique. Social media can be used as a powerful tool to encourage and lift others up. Social media can be a platform to encourage loving our own body image as individuals share themselves for who they naturally are, without the filters and edits.  	 Community:  Social Media has the ability to be the greatest community through uplifting groups, positive comments, etc. Community is vital to the development of self-image including one’s body image. Support is not only seen through being face-to-face with individuals but it can be seen virtually as well. A support system is a key element of survival and when individuals feel supported and loved they are seen to show a greater satisfaction with their body image and self-esteem. *** Building Boundaries:  Boundaries are a vital key to understanding who we are as individuals and what is positively and negatively impacting our life. Social media can be a key component to seeing what posts are benefiting one’s life and which ones could be detrimental. As individuals see posts that may contribute to negative self-body images, one can practice building boundaries through unfollowing or muting.  


 How to Manage Body Image Issues and Social Media ** Body image is a topic that many people struggle with and there are various ways for us to work to improve the concept of social media encouraging it to positive impact, some of these consist of:  Muting individuals you are following : As much as one may love the content that someone is posting if you find yourself constantly comparing or tearing yourself down after seeing posts, it can be beneficial to go to the individual's profile and at the top right select “mute”. This way you will not have the posts shown on your main social media page Unfollowing : It can be seen as an act of anger when unfollowing an individual; however, it may be beneficial to unfollow someone when their posts cause you to tear yourself apart or could be triggering for someone who may be struggling with or recovering from an eating disorder.  Practicing Self-Care : Self-care is a vital component of staying on top of one’s mental health and well-being. If one feels that social media has caused a negative body image to form, it is important to step away and take time doing things that bring you joy such as spending time outside, going for long walks, etc.  
 
When to Seek Help Body Image is a common struggle today. If you find yourself comparing yourself to others, counseling can be an extremely beneficial tool to use. Mental Health professionals can help guide one to find a mindset where they are viewing their body in a positive light, grateful for what it has the ability to do. When struggling with body image a few therapeutic approaches can be beneficial such as CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), and ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy). In these, the individual is encouraged to break down the behaviors and the thought and invite changes that can be made and mindsets shift. If counseling may be the next step for you, I want to encourage you to call Heritage Counseling at 214-363-2345 to set up a consultation. 







 Sources: *  https://eprints.whiterose.ac.uk/89338/1/51%20-%20Shaw%2C%20Waller.pdf ** https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2023/02/social-media-body-image *** https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdfdirect/10.1111/1747-0080.12581 **** https://bpb-us-w2.wpmucdn.com/u.osu.edu/dist/1/10560/files/2015/02/Wood-Barcalow_Tylka_AugustusHorvath-1jsjf03.pdf ****** https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25462886/ https://psychcentral.com/health/how-the-media-affects-body-image   https://news.illinoisstate.edu/2021/04/social-media-effects-on-body-image-and-eating-disorders/   https://www.insider.com/guides/health/mental-health/how-social-media-affects-body-image   https://www.nytimes.com/2022/03/31/learning/what-students-are-saying-about-how-social-media-affects-their-body-image.html   


Social Media’s Effect on Body Image

Introduction Anxiety  is a normal human emotion. The feeling of nervousness before an important event may contribute to anxiety. However, when the feelings of anxiety and fear are excessive, uncontrollable, or persistent and cause serious problems in your day-to-day life, it may be a sign of an anxiety disorder. There are many causes of anxiety, and we’re diving into the most common causes and what we see the most at Heritage Counseling.  Genetics The role of genetics in anxiety is a complicated one, but it's becoming increasingly apparent that genes may play a role in how your body responds to stress. If you have a family history of anxiety and other mental health conditions, you're could be at a higher risk for developing them yourself. However, it's important not to jump to conclusions about the causes of your anxiety without consulting a medical professional. Genetics may be one factor contributing to your condition—or they may not be at all involved, depending on other factors like how the brain physically develops over time and environmental influences such as trauma exposure or abuse during childhood development. 
 Stress One of the most common contributors of anxiety is stress. Stress can come from any number of sources: work, family, school, or relationships. Your environment can also be a source of stress. For example, if you live in a city with terrible traffic and overcrowded sidewalks and streets, this could be stressful on its own. Similarly, if you are living in an area that has frequent natural disasters like tornadoes or floods, this could also be considered stressful because there is always the possibility that it could happen again. Additionally, we all have some sort of relationship with ourselves--whether we like it or not! And sometimes, even just thinking about the way we think can lead to feelings of anxiety caused by overthinking and we may become overwhelmed. Our minds are complex creatures who do not always do what we want them to do, sometimes they run wild on their own accord which can cause us unnecessary distress if left unchecked. 
 Anxiety Disorders Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the United States. They include panic disorder, social anxiety disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). These disorders often occur together and are seen to impact women more than men. Symptoms of these disorders include a racing heart, sweating, trembling or shaking (tremors), dizziness nausea, and chest pain. Anxiety disorders can be seen in various forms and it is vital to have coping skills on hand when one may begin to feel anxious or overwhelmed.  
 Medications Medications can also cause anxiety. Side effects of medications may include a faster heart rate, sweating, and dizziness. These side effects are usually not serious, but they can make you feel anxious or even more anxious than before you took the medicine. This is called an “adverse effect” of the medication. Avoiding side effects can be difficult because each person reacts differently to different medicines and dosages. Talk to your doctor about how to manage any unwanted effects caused by your medications so that you can still get the help you need without feeling anxious. If you are taking medication and experiencing anxiety, Heritage Counseling offers  Neurofeedback Therapy , which is a non-invasive way of training the brain to control mental health symptoms such as anxiety.  
 Caffeine Caffeine can contribute to someone feeling more anxious. The anxiety-inducing effects of caffeine are one reason why some people find that they need to wean themselves off caffeine gradually. In contrast, others can handle a cup of coffee or tea at any time throughout the day. If you experience anxiety after consuming caffeine and have never considered it a cause for your condition, it's worth talking with your doctor about it. If you feel that caffeine is a must for you, try Green tea or Gensing tea to provide the impact of caffeine without the crash. Caffeine increases the effects of other medications that cause anxiety. Other medications such as benzodiazepines (such as Xanax), beta-blockers (such as Inderal), and antidepressants may be prescribed to reduce feelings of worry and unease caused by chronic conditions such as heart disease or depression. Drinking too much coffee or tea could make these drugs work less effectively because they are processed through the same pathways within the body—and this can produce an increase in symptoms instead of relief from them! 
 Substance abuse You may be wondering if your substance use is contributing to your anxiety. If you're experiencing symptoms of anxiety, it's important to get help from a mental health professional. Your doctor can help determine whether there are any underlying causes of your anxiety that need treatment, and they may recommend talking with a therapist or counselor. In addition to treating the symptoms of anxiety disorders, therapy can provide education about how using drugs and alcohol can affect your brain chemistry differently than it does in healthy people—and in some cases, cause more severe effects on those who have an existing condition like  depression  or  anxiety . 
 Anything that causes you stress can make you anxious. Stress and anxiety are both types of stress. They're closely related, but not the same thing. So what is stress? Stress is a biological response to any situation that challenges us in any way. It's normal for people to experience some degree of stress regularly—it happens when you're trying something new, or during important exams or interviews at work. But too much stress can lead to anxiety, and vice versa: anxiety can also make you stressed! 
 Conclusion Anxiety can be caused by several factors, but the most common are genetics, stress, and anxiety disorders. Medications and caffeine can also cause anxiety in some people, while substance abuse is another common cause of anxiety that should always be considered when looking for ways to reduce your symptoms. When it comes to managing your anxiety, help from a licensed therapist may be your best option. A therapist can spend time with you to go over any lifestyle changes that could help, as well as provide additional support and helpful tools for your specific situation. At Heritage Counseling, we have a wide variety of therapists and counselors and treatment modalities available to help with managing anxiety. To find the therapist right for you, look at our  Team  page or call us at 214-363-2354 so our administrative staff can pair you with a therapist that best fits your needs. 

Emma Hawkins

Emma Hawkins, M.A., LPC-Associate

Marriage Counseling for Newlyweds

Navigating Postpartum Depression

Understanding the Four Attachment Styles in Relationships

The Grief Cycle

Social Media’s Effect on Body Image

What Causes Anxiety?